If you meet a Swedish driver on the
road, get out of the way, especially if you're an elk—and I don't mean
the kind that congregate in lodges.
Since I've moved with my family to
Stockholm (my husband took a job here), I have found myself yearning for
the good old days of innocent driving along the streets of McLean, where
my roughest test was whether to stop at the yellow light. Now my biggest
challenge is passing the Swedish driving test or, to be more accurate,
the Swedish driving tests.
In addition to taking a difficult
written exam on driving theory and a road test, in Sweden applicants for
a driver's license must take the Swedish Slippery Driving Test,
hereafter referred to as the SSDT.
On a racetrack on the outskirts of
Stockholm, would-be drivers are required to get behind the wheel of a
small Japanese car with a manual transmission. Then, for two hours, they
alternately must speed and stop on the track that, depending on the
season, is either icy or soaked in rain and oil. A tester sits in a 20
foot-high control tower 'overlooking the track, yelling his commands in
Swedish through a radio that has the audio quality normally associated
with fast-food drive-through windows.
Not long ago, my husband and I went
together to take the SSDT, because he speaks fluent Swedish, and I was
going to need a translator. That the tester's commands were going to
have to be translated before I was supposed to obey them instantly
wasn't going to make the SSDT any easier for me. The Swedes also have a
no-refund policy on driving tests —fail any one of their test battery,
and you have to start all over again and pay for the privilege of doing
so. I was spending $125 on a driving manual, $300 on a preparatory
course, $30 on an eye test, $125 on the written test and $160 for the
road test The SSDT was going to be another $130. So the pressure was on.
The first challenge of the test was to
brake precisely as I passed two small yellow markers on the sides of the
track. The voice on the radio exhorted me to hold my speed to exactly 70
kilometers (45 mph) before the crucial moment if I didn't stop at
exactly the right spot I'd flunk.
I got through that test okay and
through the next four speed-and-stop trials. But then came the elk—in
McLean, they'd call them moose.
"Lars," the name attached to the voice
on the radio, instructed me to imagine that the blue markers on the
track were actually elk. In Sweden, the real thing always has the right
of way.
I mowed down my first fake elk, as my
car skidded on the water-slicked track. Lars was concerned enough to
come down from his tower and have my husband explain to me that braking
is like "stepping on eggshells."